Constants

I went through a rough patch a few years back. It started with thinking about a new job and perhaps moving to a different part of the state. At the same time, my work life became increasingly stressful.

During that period of my life, I took a series of photographs with a type of film camera called a Diana. It's a toy camera that features a plastic lens, a simple body, and a spring-loaded shutter. They're prone to inconsistent exposure and light leaking in through the body. I'm drawn to cameras like the Diana because they often produce one-of-a-kind photographs.

What made the negatives special was their shape. Normally, Diana cameras create square format photographs. I used the camera to make panoramas by not fully advancing the film after each shutter click. To capture a scene, I moved the camera in-between each exposure. I found the method interesting at the time but didn't have a concept for the work yet.

While looking over the negatives years later, I noticed a common theme. The photographs were taken in locations very dear to me. They included Mount Greylock, Plum Island, and the Deerfield River. I realized that they're all constants in my life because I return every year at about the same time.

On reflection, the photographs perfectly captured how I felt during that rough patch. I was there to escape my anxiety, but it managed to creep back in and I would lose focus on the present. Each photograph looks like my memory of the scene. I can recall some detail, but each scene is imperfect from distraction.

Do you have constants in your life? If so, write them down and visit them regularly. It's fascinating how much can change in your life between visits.